Before you say yes to the guy or to the lady, it is important to understand the requirements before accepting to start a relationship with anybody. I’ll be highlighting the important keys that must be considered before taking the major step of your relationship life.

Key number one: “Definition”

By definition we simply mean to give meaning to something, it equally mean to describe and give clarity to something. Definition is what gives direction in a relationship. It is in fact the compass, without it, both individuals will be lost; you’ll just be in a situation of up and forth without direct vision of where the boat is headed. Life is too serious for you to start your relationship journey with uncertainty and loss of time. The tragedy that is mostly common is that a lot of people go into relationships without knowing what it holds for them. Before enrolling for college/university you already know what qualification you’re to study for, you don’t gain admission and start asking for what qualification it is. Because by so doing you might be given what you don’t want  or withdrawal from the program, but you have the complete choice to decide what qualification you want before enrolling. Don’t say let me just accept afterwards we’ll plan what we want. Plan it and know it before entering it. What is permitted to happen when you’ve entered it, is the review of visions and goals, both parties make it clearer and navigate their way on how to fulfill their promise to each other. If the male is not coming forth to declare his genuine intentions for coming into your life, the female must be wise enough to ask him what his mission is. What’s your plan for my life? What do you intend to achieve with me? These questions must be asked and replied back with satisfactory and sincere answers. Don’t ever assume or say he/she loves me. Love is not what sustains relationship, solid commitment and no turning back conviction is what sustains relationship. Words are bounds, you must hear what you want to hear from the potential partner before jumping inside the ship. Very important also in definition of relationship is truth. You can’t start a new journey that involves the heart of another with lies and deceit. The foundation must be built on truth. Say the truth, don’t lie for whatever reason, because I can guarantee you that the truth will reveal itself without warning you. If you can’t be truthful please let the other party be on their own, nobody wants to get committed to a liar.

Clear definition helps in the easy navigation of connection. People go in and go out of relationship because purpose is lacking and very few know what they really want. Don’t allow society to make you take decisions in haste when it involves you and another person. Take your time and know all you need to know. Relationships are meant to bless our life and not to scatter it. It is because of the blessing that God initiated man and woman, so to deny yourself from accessing the blessings of relationship because of ignorance or negligence is an excuse punishable by heartache and frustration. For some people the situation might require that you say yes on the spot before much introduction and getting to know one another. In circumstances like this, make sure to define the relationship immediately. The least recommended period should be 4-6 weeks. When relationships are defined, there is security and security in turn is the breeding ground for greater manifestations and possibilities in a relationship.

In the midst of defining the relationship, the religious belief system must be included and talked about i.e. the faith of both parties. It is as serious as knowing the content of each other. Since this is purely teachings on the Christian way, we are going to concentrate on the Christian faith. In 2 Corinthians 6:14, it says and I quote “Be you not unequally yoked together with the unbelievers: for what fellowship has righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion has light with darkness?” simply put the Bible is telling us not to be in life-defining relationship with anyone that won’t help us make heaven, fulfill our purpose and who does not belief in your beliefs about the living God (Jesus). Is like been a friend with a lion, the possibility that you can change the lion from its carnivorous nature to omnivorous nature is zero. And the chance of you to be eaten up is very high. It doesn’t matter how much the lion loves you, it cannot hold back when hunger comes. Don’t ever tell yourself he/she will change, you are not the Holy Spirit that changes people. The best you can do is to offer prayer for the fellow to change before committing yourself. Also be wise and ask for God’s help in discerning and unveiling pretenders. Now, there is a chance of meeting someone who already is seriously working on themselves and requires assistance, these are genuine born again Christians that need help, probably God is bringing you to help one another. It is important to differentiate between someone in the faith that needs help and a living conscious and someone that is outside the faith. The former is to be treated with a long spoon while you observe to see if he/she is teachable and learnable whereas the latter is to avoided and prayed for until God arrests them. Transformation of character is of God not of man, please be guided in this light, so you won’t make grave mistakes that will cost you. Watch out for signs and don’t ignore signs. Some are major signs while others are minor. The aspect of God is a major sign. You are the person that will decide what you can tolerate and not. After definition has been made, go to God in prayers and seek for His counsel, God must be involved from the very beginning. To report it to God is to secure the future.

Being in various failed relationships is not a good thing nor is it a thing to be proud about. It calls for a deep reflection into one’s character. What is missing, is it God or definition? What is it that is not done rightly? Before you make that major decision of saying yes, consider seriously the implications of what the relationship will have on you, make sure to commit it to God and give a holistic definition to it. I believe that you’ve been blessed today, kindly reach out to someone close to you, and share this knowledge with them, because to be aware is to be secured and ready.

In this matter of relationship you must get it right in Jesus name.

God bless you and thank you for reading!

I’ll be continuing the series on the next post. Be alert…

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